A Blog by Jennifer Aulthouse

A heart for those who want more of God. A desperate plea for those who don't.

Monday, April 4, 2011

The Broken Bottle

I walk into the small room where He’s sitting and my eyes fall upon Him. He meets my gaze, and in His eyes I see the brightness of His joy as sun leaps off the purest of snow, pleased to see another who loves Him in His presence.

The work that my very existence depends on has already been done, but still I come, out of an ever-growing longing to carry out the fresh desires of my heart He has placed there.

I come and kneel before Him, every fiber of my being swelling with awe, saturated with gratitude, drowning in devotion. In my hands I clasp a small crystal bottle. In it contains the essence of my most adored treasures: my marriage, my family, my friendships, my dreams, and the gifts of word and of song that I’ve been entrusted to live out in His honor. I come ready, having already passed through the moment of choice in deciding which was of greater worth to me, the treasures or The Treasure.

His victorious feet before me, I open the bottle, and pour out my precious riches and drink in the splendorous aroma that their spilling has freed. So that I cannot leave this place with one drop left in my possession, I break the delicate crystal, the entirety presented to Him.

One foot, then the other, grasped in my hands, my hair wipes them dry, and my heart leaps in the rapturous privilege surrounding me. But the flesh screams from within of the wastefulness, the uselessness, as the images of all that I’ve hungered for would be lay dashed to pieces, irrecoverable....never to be again all I had hoped.

I look on His face again, messiness abounding in all that I am and all that I bring before Him, but wholly knowing that it is heart-sweeping beauty to His eyes. Just as I am, chosen to abandon all, choosing to abandon what I thought was all, receiving what truly is All.

Dear Lord, in brokenness, that this would not just be a vision but my everlasting reality....

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